


Minooshka

by templemarker



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 19:43:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2823806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/templemarker/pseuds/templemarker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Captain's face was utterly unaffected unless you spent most of your afternoons watching him in a mirror attached to your monitor so there wouldn't suddenly be a taciturn Head Bitch in Charge looming over you and your very important nail art.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Minooshka

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ysse_writes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ysse_writes/gifts).



> This story is non-season specific, so no spoilers ahoy. 
> 
> Happy holidays, ysse_writes!

"Gina," Captain Holt said, in that kind of quiet, measured whisper that meant she was doing something he didn't want her to be doing right at the moment someone was paying attention. 

"Hey there, Ray-ray," she said idly, considering adding another layer of sparkle polish to her fingernails. She had already laid down two coats, but there was no such thing as too much sparkle. 

"Gina, please close that bottle. You are aware that District Attorney Lu has a severe asthma response. I can't imagine that putting the DA into asphyxiation would be the best use of our time."

Definitely another coat. It would make the sparkles denser. "All I know is that Harvey Lu has a textbook definition of a great ass," she said. She tilted her head, considering. "And he uses too much tongue," she said, thoughtfully. One fingernail tapped at her lower lip. "That office party was real informative. About, like, the entire law enforcement system in Brooklyn."

The Captain's face was utterly unaffected unless you spent most of your afternoons watching him in a mirror attached to your monitor so there wouldn't suddenly be a taciturn Head Bitch in Charge looming over you and your very important nail art. He had a tell: the papers he held in his hand ruffled just enough that Gina was thinking about running odds. Either there would be a slight crease in the margins, or he would take them home and iron them so they would be perfectly straight once again. 

It meant she'd be getting some sweet, sweet orange mocha frappuccino money for the coffee cart a block away. Amy could never resist the action if it meant she learned some new, stalkery insight on Captain Holt. 

She looked up as she painted her last pinky nail to find that the Captain had rested a hand on his hip. Shit, that was his "bitch please" move, and Gina knew better than to actually piss him off. She closed the bottle, pulled a fan from the corner of her desk, and tilted her nails away from DA Lu. She gave Holt a sunny smile. 

"Ter-bear has an epi pen in his wallet," she said, "and Jake scammed that kid out of his inhaler, but it was out of date so he only used it once. DA Lu and his perfect ass will survive, sir."

Holt looked at her still, but the papers had stopped moving and his hand had dropped from his waist. Whew. Crisis averted. 

"In his wallet?" Captain Holt asked, looking as though he might regret asking when the answer came. 

"Have you seen his big paws? He can Tarzan up any lady--or Boyle--in this joint, but he can't get the credit card out of his wallet unless it's grown three sizes that day." She smirked. "He stopped letting me help him when his wife asked him about all the frappacinos on his statement."

"Big enough to fit an epinephrine pen," he mused, looking at Terry consideringly. 

"He's good at paperwork _and_ easily guilted into helping you move," she confirmed. 

DA Lu did not look as though he was choking. When he looked over, Gina waived her Pink Crystal Ocean Tips at him and his face caught between shock and irritation. Yeah, he remembered that party. She almost got him to give her a lapdance. Her Twitter was very disappointed. 

"As much as I can see that Lu makes an appealing chew toy," Holt said, and he was totally laughing--she could tell from how his breath skipped at 'chew,' "I encourage you to find a different target for your afternoon hijinks." He paused. "Or, and this is somewhere between a pleading request and an order, you could complete the DD-12s I gave to you on Monday."

Gina grinned. Holt was in a good mood, all things considered. Just for that, she carefully rolled her top right hand desk drawer open with a drying nail, expertly scooped up a folder with all the DD-12s, organized by case number, and offered them to him. "My hijinx are at DEFCON 2, Captain," she said watching his face as he flipped through them, knowing he was admiring the neat print she used whenever she stole those Sharpie pens from the evidence desk. "Look at him, Jake's about to do something reckless and stupid. Don't you want me to hijinx him out of that decision tree?"

He folded the DD-12s over the stack of paper in his hand, and gave her the very slightest of head tilts towards yes. Her smile grew wider as she thought of the sparkle-infused shaving cream she'd picked up at Duane Reade. "We all sacrifice to keep Detective Peralta from sullying the reputation of Precinct 99, Gina," he said, with his deadpan that showed off the wild side of his humor. "Today that sacrifice is yours."

She raised her hand in a sketchy salute, fingers separated to keep from messing up the topcoat. "I am ready for the worst, sir," she said, winking.

Holt turned to go back into his office, and Gina remembered the envelope. 

"Captain," she said, waiting for Holt to turn around. "I got you those Floorgasm tickets I promised you," she said, proffering them out for him to take. "We're totally going to Regionals this year."

Reluctantly, he took the tickets from her. "Kevin and I will be delighted to attend," he said gravely. He checked the date on the tickets and almost-smiled. "And thank you for scheduling this on Book Club night. There is only so much one can say about Fifty Shades of Gray before resorting to some very unfortunately lewd malapropisms."

Gina resisted the urge to clap her hands together; he would definitely come, and that meant she'd also get Amy, Jake, and Boyle to come. Diaz was--a maybe. It generally depended on whether she was actually planning to wash her hair. Natural-looking flow like that did not come without deep conditioner and a loving relationship with your blow dryer. 

"We're going to crush it," she said, and turned back to her desk as Holt retreated into his office to probably iron the DD-12s. She looked over, and Jake had started to get that flush in his face that meant he was about to explode into bad decision-making and questionable schwarma. She pulled the sparkle cream out of her purse and tucked it behind her back as she called out his name and walked toward him.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from another pair of boss-administrators. 
> 
> _Michael Scott_ : I owe you an apology.  
>  _Pam Beesly_ : You finished the movie.  
>  _Michael Scott_ : Yeah. It was awesome. Big surprise ending. Won't ruin it for you.  
>  _Pam Beesly_ : No. Go ahead.  
>  _Michael Scott_ : Meryl Streep is the bad guy. Never saw it coming. Anyway, if I was mean in any way to you, I am sorry. I just want what's best for you, minooshka.  
>  _Pam Beesly_ : [whispers] Minooshka.  
>  _Pam Beesly_ : [later] Mo cuishle. He's watching "Million Dollar Baby."  
> [pause]  
>  _Pam Beesly_ : He's gonna try to kill me. 
> 
> The Office (US), 4x04


End file.
